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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments often turn “really delusional”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically coming after a “crash”, where he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from those around him. He first suspected he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors online – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. But, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having previously arrived at that realization by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they feel a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been called narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people hide it, because of significant negative perception around the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through actions such as seeking admiration,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While up to 75% of people found to have NPD are males, studies points out this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she explains, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked positive role models during development. It’s been a process of understanding over the years which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is expected around in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number